The beginning

    If you were to read any of my own diary journals (at least those in the last past 2 years), you would understand that I write a lot of random things. Mostly it consists of thought and things I've heard. There are a few quotes, 'cause you know there are some smart people out there. So when it comes to starting a blog, it's like starting a new page. Granted for an artist a white canvas can be intemidating, as can white paper for a writer. But whether an artist, or a writer, or even an electrician, you must do what you do. The world may see no point in it. They might scoff, but if you do not do what you feel called to do - then who are you? Also by expressing yourself you define yourself. Your creativity makes you unique. Uniqueness makes you touch others souls. Touching others souls can in affect touch you own.
   I must tell you that this last week I have struggled with my own self worth. It's been a hard week. Normally I am very centered in who I am. I'm not one for devulging in insecurity. But there will come a time where each of us has to fend off that hurtful monster. Fighting him off this week brought me to tears many times. I felt so unworthy. I felt so helpless. I felt alone. Through my tears I'd laugh at myself, telling myself what a fool for crying. That didn't help matters. I may not be totally over these feelings, but I'm calming down. I had to step back and realize, "What in the world is life? And who am I living for?" It was then, between breathtaking sobs, I realized that God had created me for a purpose, and who really cared if other people were better? They weren't better, only called to a different purpose and given different gifts. It's incredible what sorrow will do to you, especially when you wake up from the pain. 
   Looking forward to other candid moments, (and the cheesecake in the fridge) Yours, Ashley